Burning Beneath

Tonight I went to the place where my Community Connection Circle is held. I arrived early and prepared myself the way I usually do, ready for whoever might walk through the door.

I waited.

No one came tonight.

The owners were kind enough to keep the place open a little longer because of the circle. As the evening was ending and they were preparing to close, the wife came and sat next to me while we talked for a few minutes. Her husband was moving around the café lowering the blinds on the windows as he prepared the place for closing.

We were just talking casually.

At some point I asked them a simple question.

How long have you been married?

They answered and spoke about their years together. Listening to them talk made me curious about something deeper, so I asked another question.

After all these years together, how do you see each other?

The conversation started to open up a little. Then another question came to me. I asked each of them, separately but in front of the other, something important.

What is one thing that is your red line in a relationship?

He answered first. For him, the red line would be deception. Doing something behind his back.

Then she answered. For her, the red line would be disrespect.

After that, I asked them to close their eyes and go deep inside themselves. I asked them to truly believe that in this very moment their partner was no longer there. To sit with that feeling as if they were suddenly alone in the world without the other person beside them.

They stood quietly for a moment with their eyes closed.

When they opened their eyes, I asked them what they felt.

Both of them answered almost at the same time.

Lonely.

Sad.

At that moment the husband was about to pull a chair to sit and continue talking with us. Instead, I asked him to stay standing. I then asked them both to stand facing each other.

I asked them to look into each other’s eyes in silence for one full minute.

No talking. Just seeing each other.

Within seconds emotions began to rise. The wife began to tear up.

After the minute passed, I asked them to say just one word to each other. The first word that came to their mind. No thinking. Just the first word from the heart.

They spoke their words.

I did not try to hear them. That moment belonged only to them.

Then I asked them to hug each other.

They held each other for a long time.

When it ended I apologized. I told them I did not know why I asked them to do this. It simply came out of me in the moment.

They smiled and said something that stayed with me.

They said they knew why.

They said it felt like I was meant to be there in that moment.

I came expecting a circle of people.

Instead there were only three of us.

But somehow the circle still happened.

And in that quiet moment, two people who have spent many years together stopped everything and truly saw each other again.

Sometimes connection does not happen in big groups.

Sometimes it happens quietly, unexpectedly, between just a few souls willing to pause and remember what they mean to each other.

Tonight reminded me why the Community Connection Circle exists.

To create moments where people remember how to see each other again.

And tonight, even though no one came to the circle, the circle still happened.