Burning Beneath

The dating scene feels unreasonable sometimes.

There is this strange expectation that you should be witty, charming, and unforgettable in a single opening message. As if one “hi” can determine whether a person is interesting, kind, deep, or worth knowing. It feels absurd. Even unfair.

Matching with someone is not a performance. It is not a final verdict on who we are. Yet dating platforms often turn connection into something cold and mechanical, reduced to text bubbles on a screen.

Communication is one of the ways I express love. But communication is never just words. It is energy. It is eye contact. It is body language. It is laughter. It is presence. It is the feeling you get when someone sits across from you and you can sense who they are without them trying to prove anything.

A digital screen cannot carry that.

Talking to an empty space, hoping someone replies, feels slow and disconnected from how I naturally connect with people. Maybe that is why I have created dating profiles many times, only to delete them again. The disappearing messages, the silence after effort, the feeling of a game I never agreed to play, it all feels unnatural to me.

And yet, the desire remains.

To love.

To be chosen.

To belong to someone and to care for them.

These feelings are real and human.

I remember when I first started teaching adults. During my evaluation period, I was placed in the longer diploma teaching track. The reason was simple. My warmth, strength, and authenticity showed themselves over time, not in first impressions. I am someone you understand gradually, not instantly.

Dating platforms do not leave space for that kind of unfolding.

I am the kind of person who wants to listen to the small details of someone’s life. I want spontaneous laughter, shared adventures, quiet presence, and conversations that grow naturally. When I am comfortable, my laughter fills the space without effort. It is not something I perform. It is something that happens.

Texting has its place. When connection already exists, messages can carry care, teasing, check-ins, and warmth across distance. But connection cannot be built from pressure and clever lines alone.

Maybe connection was never meant to start this way.

Maybe there is another way.

There has to be another way.