Burning Beneath

And here it is again — another night, crawling in, creeping closer, carrying with it that heavy weight of loneliness. It’s frightening to feel this way every single night.

I’ve always been a morning person, the kind who greets the sun with energy and excitement. At least, that’s who I used to be before anxiety and depression wrapped themselves around me. Lately, I dread the darkness. Each hour that passes makes the loneliness feel heavier, almost unbearable.

I toss and turn in bed, trying to force myself to sleep, but sleep refuses to come. When I do drift off, I wake too often, only to feel crushed by the sight of more darkness outside. The realization that there are still hours left before sunrise feels like a punishment — more time to struggle, more time to endure.

I don’t mean to sound dark; I’m simply being honest about what I’m experiencing. Maybe it’s the longing for a partner — someone who matches my energy, someone I can belong to, feel safe with, simply share the silence beside. Even without words, just having that presence would ease this weight.

I know I’m ready for that connection. Yet here I am, wrestling with the gaps in my reality, trying to face facts, trying to hold on to logic while my heart aches. I’m struggling, and I don’t have all the answers.

So, universe, if you’re listening — send me a sign, a hint, anything. I would be so grateful.