Burning Beneath

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I have nothing left inside me to write.
Not because I don’t care, but because I’ve been carrying so much — in silence.

I’m a 52-year-old woman with three university degrees — one in engineering from Baghdad, one in computer science (with honours) from Canada, and another in mobile app development. I’ve raised four incredible kids. They’re all growing, building their lives, becoming strong and self-sufficient.

I’ve built a van from scratch — wired it, designed it, learned everything I could with my own hands.
I’ve written a novel, Burning Beneath, and started a blog to capture that journey — both real and imagined.

But lately… I’ve gone quiet.

Not because I’ve stopped dreaming.
But because I’ve been exhausted.

I’m working a job I both love and hate — driving long hours, sitting in the heat, trying to make ends meet each month. I feel grateful that I can provide, but also trapped in survival mode, where time and energy vanish before I even open my journal.

And under all of it, there’s this lingering fear:
That the moment I’m gone, I’ll be forgotten.
That nothing I did will remain. That my story — my truth — will disappear.

But today, I want to write this down as a reminder:

I was here. I am here. Even when I’m tired. Even when I’m quiet.

I’ve realized that Burning Beneath isn’t just a blog or a book.
It’s me — still burning, even when the fire flickers low.
It’s a space for my truth to live. My journey. My grief. My becoming.

And maybe someday, I’ll write the full story of my life. Maybe I’ll speak the parts that were once too heavy to say out loud. Not to shame anyone, but to finally set myself free.

But for now, I’m letting go of the pressure to always write something big.
Maybe one sentence a day is enough.

Like this one:

I’m not ready to speak, but I’m still here.

If you’re feeling the same way — like you’re holding more than you can say — I see you. You’re not alone in the in-between.

We are still burning. Quietly. Steadily. Honestly.
And that, too, is part of the story.