Burning Beneath

Few words hold as much power as who, where, when, what, and why. They’re small—barely noticeable in conversation—but when used with intention, they can unravel truths, detect lies, expose cruelty, or shine light on the quiet kindness of humanity.

Not to sound dramatic, but really think about it.

Every day, these words sneak into our thoughts. Say someone wrongs you—you ask, why did they do that? You’re not just wondering about their actions. You’re trying to understand their intention. But here’s the thing: unless you’re ready to receive the answer—whether it hurts, disappoints, or brings clarity—you may not be ready to ask the question.

I ask myself these questions constantly. Especially in moments when I feel anxious, out of place, or like someone is silently watching, judging, or dismissing me. Often, my instinct is to withdraw from the situation entirely. But even after I walk away, the questioning doesn’t stop: Why? Why did that happen? Why did they treat me like that?

Today, though, I asked why in a new way.

It wasn’t just curiosity—it was resistance. Why would they do that? They shouldn’t be doing that. But suddenly, it clicked. I paused. Why am I asking this? They won’t change. I won’t change who I am just to please someone else. So why am I hoping for something different?

And just like that, I stopped. I let go.

Because finally, after all these years, I realized:
It’s not about them.
It’s about me.

And it’s OK to be selfish.
It’s OK to love myself.
It’s OK to be who I am, without covering up, shrinking, dimming my light, or bending myself just to fit into someone else’s frame.

I am here. I am proud—of my journey, of every flaw, every scar, every part of me I’ve built, collected, reshaped, or was born with. And it’s OK if I’m not for everyone. I’ll find my people—and even if I don’t, I’m at peace being alone. Alone with this magnificent creature I’ve become, one who has overcome not just hurdles, but mountains.

And it’s not just about me. I know that every one of us is a different version of me.
We all have our own journey, our own set of questions, our own timeline.
Some are a few steps behind, some a few steps ahead—and that’s OK.

It’s OK to be where you are, who you are, and how you are