Burning Beneath

Last night, I dreamed I was writing a post. That rarely happens. I usually only write when something needs to come out of me—when something sits heavy on my chest or circles in my mind too long. I don’t force it. I let it flow.

And maybe that’s why I haven’t written much these past few days. I had an intense burst of thoughts and feelings that poured out of me daily until… I was empty.

Empty.

But not in a bad way.

This kind of emptiness is more like a signal. It’s my body and soul saying, “You’ve given all you can. It’s time to rest now.”

When I reach this point, I know it’s time to retreat. To reset. To return to my safe space—mentally, emotionally, even spiritually—and tend to my own healing. Because when I’m empty, I have nothing left to give. And that’s okay.

I know I’m not alone in this. So many women—especially mothers—know this feeling too well. We do it all. We take care of the kids, the house, our jobs, the appointments, the emotional labor, and everything in between. And often, we do it silently, without asking for help. Because it all just has to get done.

But in the process, we drain ourselves.

I came across a post on Facebook recently that put into words what I’ve felt for years—especially during my 17-year marriage. It said:

“Women don’t need to be saved. They need a partner who shares the load.”

Yes. A true partnership.
Not one where help has to be begged for, but where effort is shared. Where support is offered without asking. That’s what women need. What we all need.

And sometimes, I still crave that kind of connection—that safe, intimate presence of a partner. Someone to touch, to talk to, to sip coffee with in silence. Someone to belong to, and who belongs to me.

But even with that craving, I know I’m not ready. Not yet. There’s too much still moving inside me. Too much still being healed. I want to be whole first—settled, content, free.

Still, the fact that I feel that longing?
It’s a reminder that I’m still alive. Still human. Still capable of loving and being loved.

And for that, I am deeply grateful.