Burning Beneath

I’ve come to a quiet but powerful realization: I’m done with arguments. I’m done with exhausting conversations that go in circles, where no one is really listening—just waiting for their turn to speak. Especially when the goal isn’t growth or understanding, but simply to be “right.”

When I was younger, I mistook debates for passion. I thought arguing meant we cared. It was part of the fire in us. I remember once, when I was 16, having a four-hour back-and-forth with my uncle about toxic managers. He was only a few years older than me, and we both refused to back down. At the time, it felt like intellectual sport, but now I see it more clearly—it wasn’t about finding truth. It was about ego, frustration, maybe even pain. We just needed to saysomething, to be someone.

But with time, I’ve noticed a pattern:
Without even realizing it, I sometimes fall right back into those old habits. I don’t always catch it right away. It takes a moment—a quiet reflection or a pause in the noise—before it sinks in. That familiar sting of realization: Oh no, I’m doing it again.
And that’s when the self-blame starts:
“I should’ve known better.”
“I’ve been through this before.”
“Why did I waste my energy again?”

It’s rarely intense. Often it’s subtle—a casual questioning, a reaction to someone’s opinion I don’t agree with, a small attempt to challenge a belief that doesn’t need to be challenged. Sometimes, it’s not even about the topic. Sometimes, I’m just venting, irritated by something else entirely. But I’ve realized I need to stop. I need to catch myself sooner.

Because truthfully, it’s not always stupidity I’m frustrated with—it’s the nature of things. The truth is: people are different. Different backgrounds. Different stories. Different ages, beliefs, needs, and definitions of right and wrong. I don’t get to change that. I’m not supposed to.

And that’s where peace begins.
Peace isn’t about everyone agreeing with me.
It’s about me being okay even when they don’t.

I no longer want to spend my energy trying to explain what doesn’t need explaining, defend what doesn’t need defending, or argue over things that aren’t worth the weight of my thoughts. The key for me is simple now:
Don’t step into rooms where my peace has no seat.
Don’t engage in discussions where my soul doesn’t belong.

I trust the opinions I’ve shaped over time. I know who I am. I don’t need validation. I don’t need applause. I just need alignment—with myself.

And most of all, I need to remember that the real lesson isn’t in never slipping—but in catching myself with grace when I do. Over and over again, until the peace becomes permanent