Burning Beneath

They say, “Be the bigger person.” But what does that really mean?

Is it simply walking away from an argument, swallowing your pride for the sake of peace? Or is it something deeper—like choosing to nurture a relationship even after it’s been cracked by disagreement, misunderstanding, or hurt?

In my view, being the bigger person isn’t about pretending the hurt didn’t happen. It’s about valuing the relationship enough to look beyond the moment of conflict. It means acknowledging the time, energy, laughter, and memories you’ve built with someone and deciding whether those moments are worth salvaging what’s been broken.

Sometimes, being the bigger person is giving space—for yourself and for the other person to grow, reflect, or heal. Other times, it’s initiating a conversation, extending a hand, or offering forgiveness, not because you weren’t hurt, but because you care enough to rebuild what once mattered.

But here’s where it gets tricky: not every relationship deserves to be saved.

There are connections that drain more than they give, that cost you your peace, your sanity, or your sense of self. And in those cases, walking away isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. Knowing when to hold on and when to let go is a form of self-respect. The secret lies in balance.

Relationships—whether friendships, partnerships, or family bonds—should be a dance of giving and receiving. Not a one-way street. Don’t overextend yourself to meet someone halfway if they’re not even taking a step. At the same time, don’t withhold love, effort, or vulnerability when the relationship is mutual and meaningful.

Being the bigger person doesn’t mean you shrink yourself. It means you rise above ego and emotion without losing your boundaries. It means honouring your worth, protecting your peace, and refusing to accept less than you deserve.

In the end, it’s not just about mending relationships. It’s about mending yourself, too—choosing what aligns with your growth, your values, and your peace of mind