Burning Beneath

Today, I had a conversation with my 13-year-old autistic son that stopped me in my tracks. We had just gotten into the car when he casually mentioned, “You know, if no one buys any properties in Monopoly, no one loses.”

Without thinking, I instinctively replied, “Well, in that case, no one would win either.”

He looked at me and said, “That’s the point—there would be no losers.”

A simple yet profound perspective.

It made me realize just how deeply ingrained the culture of winning is in our society. From childhood, we are taught that success is everything. Trophies, grades, achievements—these are the markers of worthiness. As we grow, this mindset follows us into adulthood. We measure success by our houses, cars, job titles, and social status. We have accepted, without question, that life is a race, that there must always be winners and losers.

But my son’s perspective challenged that entire foundation. What if we didn’t play the game that way? What if we removed the idea of losers altogether?

Imagine a world where people are not competing against each other for promotions, accolades, or validation. Instead of seeing life as a constant battle to get ahead, what if we simply focused on living in harmony—helping, supporting, and uplifting one another?

What if our worth wasn’t measured by what we own but by how we exist with others?

Some might argue that without competition, there would be no mastery—that without the need to outshine others, no one would push themselves to excel, and we wouldn’t know who is best suited for certain jobs. But that assumption is rooted in the idea that excellence can only come from rivalry.

The truth is, mastery doesn’t disappear when competition is removed. Instead, it evolves. When we support each other rather than compete, we share knowledge, skills, and experiences more freely. Growth no longer comes from the need to “win” but from a collective pursuit of excellence. Instead of individuals hoarding their expertise to stay ahead, we would all benefit from the best of each other.

This isn’t just an idealistic dream—it’s a call to rethink the way we live. Our obsession with winning has created an unhealthy society where burnout, stress, and isolation are the norm. We push our kids to stand out, to be the best, but at what cost? In the process, we’ve also taught them to fear failure, to see others as competition, and to tie their value to external success.

But what if we embraced a different way? A world where no one is left behind, where success is shared, where there is no need to “win” because the goal is not to outshine others but to walk alongside them.

This simple yet radical idea from my son has left me thinking—maybe the real game isn’t about winning at all. Maybe the true victory is in creating a world where no one has to lose.