Burning Beneath

Every time I start a new project, I pour my energy into it, pushing hard to build it up from the ground. The initial momentum feels unstoppable. But somewhere along the way, midway through, something shifts. My mind begins to race with doubts. What if I fail? What if this doesn’t work? What if I run into a problem I can’t solve? It’s always the “what ifs” that slow me down, that make me hesitate, that eventually stop me in my tracks.

Right now, I’m working on a mental health app—something I’ve been building for over six months. I was making progress, real progress. Then suddenly, the questions started flooding in. What if it goes viral? What if a certain feature costs me more than I can afford? What if I can’t sustain it? And just like that, I froze. I stepped away. Days turned into weeks, and now, it’s been almost a month since I’ve touched my project. And the real question is, why does this keep happening?

It’s not just the fear of failing—it’s also the fear of what happens if I succeed. The bigger the project grows, the more responsibility it carries. The unknown of what comes next can feel overwhelming. My mind tries to predict every possible problem, as if solving them all in advance will guarantee success. But in reality, this just creates paralysis—overthinking kills action. The beginning of a project is fueled by excitement, but midway through, when the real work begins and obstacles appear, the motivation starts to wane. Instead of pushing through, I hesitate.

Maybe this is self-sabotage. Maybe a part of me unconsciously holds myself back, afraid of stepping into something bigger. Or maybe I’ve grown used to this cycle of starting and stopping, so my mind naturally repeats it. The lack of external pressure doesn’t help. There’s no boss waiting for updates, no deadline forcing me forward, no accountability outside of myself. It’s easy to put things off “just for now” until that “now” turns into indefinite procrastination.

The only way to break free is to shift my thinking. Instead of asking, What if I fail? I need to ask, What if this works? What if I make a difference? Instead of expecting perfection before I move forward, I need to accept that no project is flawless at launch. Some problems will arise later, and that’s okay. Breaking the work down into small, manageable steps instead of seeing it as an overwhelming whole can help regain momentum. Sharing progress with someone, making the project real by involving others, creates accountability. And more than anything, I have to recognize that this cycle exists and actively choose to disrupt it. The moment I feel myself pulling away is the exact moment I need to lean in and take action.

I already know what I need to do. I just have to do it. So here’s my promise to myself: I will open my project again today. Even if it’s just one small step. Even if all I do is look at it. Because stopping is no longer an option.