Burning Beneath

In that dream, I was stripped of everything that made me… me.

No sharp thoughts. No careful strategies. No brilliance to hide behind.

Just instinct.

And it terrified me.

Who are we without our minds?

Strip away the sharp thoughts, the careful strategies, the brilliance that shields us from the world—what’s left?

I’ve spent so long believing my mind was my greatest weapon. My intelligence has been my armor, my escape, my excuse. It let me navigate life without getting too close to anyone, without needing anyone. Every decision I’ve made has been calculated, controlled, designed to keep me one step ahead and far enough away.

But I wonder… without it, what am I?

Would I still be Sam?

Or would I become something less?

Or worse, something more dangerous?

If we lose our intelligence, do we finally become honest? Do we strip away the layers of performance, the masks we wear, and reveal something purer, something more real?

Or is it our mind that makes us human, and without it, we’re nothing but impulse and reaction—shadows of who we thought we were?

I think about how much of myself is tied to my thoughts. How often have I mistaken control for strength? How often have I hidden behind the safety of logic because feeling something deeply felt too risky?

Maybe my mind has been a mask all along.

A way to control everything. A way to avoid feeling anything too deeply.

But without it, I am vulnerable.

And maybe that’s what I fear most.

Not the loss of intelligence.

But the loss of control.

Because what if beneath all the calculation and control, there’s something else waiting? Something darker. Something more raw.

What if I am not someone better without my mind—
But someone worse?

And what does that say about me?

What does that say about any of us?

We like to think our minds define us, that our intelligence is who we are. But maybe that’s just a story we tell ourselves.

So I ask you—if everything that made you you was gone, who would you be?

Would you like the answer?

I’m not sure I do.

And maybe that’s the real reason I’m afraid to find out.